Airlines seem to at least be getting the message that if you are obese and unable to fit into one seat, you are required to buy a second seat - preferably in the same row. But what about those tall people? The ones you enjoy watching clip their heads on the TV and overhead bins when boarding. Two [...]
Posts Tagged ‘airports’
And you thought being fat was bad …
Posted: October 15, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airplanes, airports, boarding planes, fat, funny travel stories, obese, tall, travel, travel stories
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They tried to smuggle what?
Posted: September 20, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airports, baggage claim, contraband, louis vuitton, smuggle, tourists, travel, travel stories, TSA, viagra
This photographer spent five days and nights at JFK documenting the crazy stuff people try to smuggle into the country. At least she got some good stuff, like uh, how do I say this delicately … a deer penis! Okay, I can understand the illegal Louis Vuitton bags and Viagra, but really? Makes you kind [...]
TSA screeners have feelings too … and fake badges!
Posted: August 16, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airport check in, airport security, airports, boarding planes, travel stories, TSA
It seems that TSAs answer to increasing the publics’ confidence in their screeners, and beef-up their perceived authority, is to give them bigger fake badges that look more like the police. I can’t help picturing the big cartoon-size sheriff’s badges we played with as kids. Now how am I supposed to keep a straight face [...]
Airline fees jump 50 percent – yippee!!!
Posted: July 13, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airplanes, airports, funny travel stories, passengers, tourists, travel
To a normal person/traveler/moron, a 50% increase in airlines fees would be ghastly news. To me, it means fewer families taking up a lot of space on my plane. It means less children to trip over and less novice vacation idiots to annoy me. This could be the best summer yet !!! Airline fees can [...]
Brief History of Airport Snafus
Posted: July 13, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airport check in, airport security, airports, boarding planes, funny travel stories, passengers, travel
Being a crabby flyer like myself, it’s never good to see a headline with the words airport and snafu together. It just doesn’t have the same feel as, oh let’s say, vodka and tonic. With the exception of the JFK runway construction snafu, I’ve managed to dodge most of these. And you? Full List – Brief History [...]
20 More Reasons to Hate the Airlines
Posted: July 13, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airplanes, airports, flight attendants, passengers, travel, travel stories, TSA
Oh No !!!! It’s not enough that I have to fly with morons, now they can pay a few extra bucks and board early WITH ME !!!! And here are 19 other reasons I hate the airlines …. Full List – 20 Reasons to Hate the Airlines – TIME.
Idiot free fly zone … the flying car
Posted: July 3, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: air travel, airplanes, airport check in, airport security, airports, baggage claim, flight attendants, funny travel stories, passengers, tourists, travel, TSA
Finally, the ability to fly without interacting with idiots. I love it. I definitely need to get one of these car-planes and avoid the commercial air terminals and their teeming masses of morons. Just under $200,000 – okay, I’ll get a night job – but what a pay off. Coming to an idiot free fly [...]
GeriAir … the new geriatric airline
Posted: July 2, 2010 in Boarding ... no, Genius, row 36 is not First ClassTags: airplanes, airports, boarding planes, passengers, travel
The concept for GeriAir is genius and the brainchild of a couple of my politically incorrect friends. Although if you have flown in or out of anywhere in Florida, given enough time, you would have come up with it yourself. No, really, you would have. It all comes down to the wheelchair olympics that take [...]
Are those your nuts?
Posted: June 29, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: airplanes, airports, flight attendants, food on planes, funny travel stories, passengers, stewardess, travel
Plane food is plane food, or better yet, it’s plain food. It’s bad at 39,000 feet and it would be just as bad on the ground. Lower your expectations. Those who complain about plane food have made the mistake of actually eating plane food. You can’t step in front of a bus and then blame the bus for [...]
Happy to see me or is that a microphone in your pocket?
Posted: June 29, 2010 in UncategorizedTags: airplanes, airport security, airports, baggage claim, flight attendants, passengers, spy, travel, travel stories, TSA
Seems tests are being conducted in the UK to spy on airline passengers. Trust me, they’re not that interesting … annoying, but not so interesting. I’ve done my share of spying on fellow passengers and nobody is saying anything important. Although you gotta love a good old boy, tractor salesman frequent flyer seatmate, who wants to share [...]
